- Breanne Fahs Study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33347212/
- 2023 OHSU research on period products: https://news.ohsu.edu/2023/02/15/ohsu-study-finds-significant-gaps-in-menstrual-research-and-clinical-care
- https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/endorphins-the-brains-natural-pain-reliever
- https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/is-it-possible-to-get-pregnant-if-i-have-sex-during-my-period/
- https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicebroster/2020/07/10/stigma-attached-to-period-sex-may-be-a-thing-of-the-past-research-suggests/
- https://beducated.com/mag/period-sex/
- https://www.thomsonmedical.com/blog/period-sex
- https://ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/womens-accounts-of-sex-during-menstruation
- Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume (Get it on Bookshop.org HERE or on Amazon HERE)
- Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James (Get it on Bookshop.org HERE or on Amazon HERE)
Liesl 00:08 Hey, Liesl, Hey, what did you know your first period is called menarche? Maleaer Key, No, it's true. Silly word. My grandma used to pronounce it menarche, but it's actually menarche. Okay, so all jokes aside, today's episode, we're going to be talking about our own first periods.
Malea 00:30 Liesl, when did you first learn about periods?
Liesl 00:34 Honestly, I know we had sex ed in elementary school, though I remember it feeling very anatomy focused and not very personal. My first more personal recollection of periods, really, I have to attribute to Judy Blume. I remember reading, "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret", which was not, as you mentioned to me, you know, not really part of general media or popular culture. At the time,
Malea 00:59 I wasn't allowed to read it.
Liesl 01:01 Really?
Malea 01:02 Yeah
Liesl 01:02 On what grounds?
Malea 01:03 I think it was considered too mature, which was interesting, because my family was very focused on read whatever you want.
Liesl 01:10 Fascinating. I think sometimes, at least as was the case in my family, like there was liberality among some subjects, but a lot less when it came to the subject of sex and bodies.
Malea 01:22 And then you said the sex ed at your school was very anatomy focused. At my school, it was in the fifth grade, and it was very, I think, anatomy focused as well, but also heavily focused on periods. But we were given, and it was with boys and girls in the same classroom. We were given brochures and told, go home and talk to your parents about it.
Liesl 01:43 Oh boy, they really passed the buck to the parents.
Malea 01:44 Oh, absolutely. And so I brought the brochures to my mom, and was like, I'm supposed to talk to you about this. And my mom said, "Do you have questions?" And I said, "No", because I really didn't want to talk to her. We had one girl in our class that had her period very early, and it happened at school while she was wearing white pants, and it sort of stigmatized it for the entire class. You sort of mentioned, though, that a lot of your classmates, everybody was kind of in anticipation and waiting for their first period.
Liesl 02:15 I think so. It's not necessarily, I think that people were excited to get their period, or maybe not outright, but on some level, it was like a rite of passage, of course, and there's some anxiety waiting for it to happen to you. What's it going to feel like? You know, when am I going to need supplies? When am I going to maybe kind of be on the same level as my friends? Maybe who've already gotten their periods,
Malea 02:38 And then where were you when you when you got your first period?
Liesl 02:42 Okay, so I my parents were divorced, and I spent part of the week with my mom, part of the week with my dad, and I was, of course, at my dad's house when it happened.
Malea 02:51 Of course.
Liesl 02:52 And I was pretty young. I think I was probably about 11, so I think I was a little caught by surprise. I didn't think it would happen quite that early. And you know, as with all memories from childhood, some of the details are hazy. I remember more the feelings around getting my period, emotional feelings, yeah, I think so, like the feeling that uncertainty, but then also feeling a sense of love and being cared for by my dad.
Malea 03:18 Oh, okay
Liesl 03:19 who was, I think, a little caught off guard as well,
Malea 03:22 sure,
Liesl 03:23 but very sweet about it. He offered to immediately go to the store and get me supplies, get me pads, which we didn't have.
Malea 03:31 Aw, sweet dad
Liesl 03:32 yes. And then he also offered to go buy me food. He was very concerned about how I felt, and I think I had some cramps, you know, and some bloating and whatever. And maybe this wasn't the best thing for him to get, but he I asked if he'd go get me a burrito. So he brought me home, I think, a bean and cheese burrito, and I felt very taken care of and very comforted. So it's a positive experience overall
Malea 03:56 that is so sweet. My first period was very different. I don't really remember having cramps or anything. I just remember I was at my friend's house, and her dad was a doctor, and so I actually learned more about periods at their house from the books he bought brought home for her and her sister. And I remember, you know, after the Sex Ed talk at school, my friend and I kind of pouring over those books, but they didn't really talk about periods. It was more just about anatomy and things like that, but
Liesl 04:28 More of a clinic perspective
Malea 04:30 very clinical. And I probably could have talked to their mom about it more easily than my own mom, but I didn't. But I was in the bathroom at their house and there was, like a stain in my underwear. It wasn't a lot, but I was like, Oh, is this my period? After I got over kind of the shock I actually stole my friend's sister's pads
Liesl 04:50 Did you tell your friend?
Malea 04:52 I did not,
Liesl 04:53 You did not, and kept things under the cloak of secrecy.
Malea 04:56 I'm not sure if it was the second or third period I had, but her sister caught. Me stealing her products,
Liesl 05:01 So you didn't tell your parents at all for knowing periods, you just continued to steal from my friends supplies.
Malea 05:09 And I probably could have even asked my friend's parents to get me supplies, and I'm They 100% would have. But I think part of me was a little bit embarrassed because I was already wearing a bra, and my mom was very matter of fact about buying me bras. My grandma did the whole "Oh, you're a woman now", and made it way over the top, and my dad teased me about it, and I didn't want to repeat that experience with my parents.
Liesl 05:35 So, there was a little bit of shame already internalized, a bit around your body and your body's needs,
Malea 05:41 yeah, and not wanting. I never liked the focus on me, and I also I was the oldest of three, and my sister was a couple years behind me. And I don't know it was just very hush hush.
Liesl 05:53 It is interesting. You and I very different experiences, and yet we were both the first,
Malea 05:58 yes,
Liesl 05:59 the oldest children. So we sort of had to go through that without having any, you know, having had any examples before us to look at
Malea 06:07 Well, and my mom never talked about her period with me. I had seen her products in the bathroom, but I guess it never occurred to me to ask about them or anything like that. Never occurred to me to steal my own mom's products. Maybe I was afraid she would notice, I don't know, but my friend's sister caught me stealing them and sort of started feeding them to me.
Liesl 06:27 So did you ever end up asking your mom or parents before
Malea 06:30 I did
Liesl 06:30 And how did that go?
Malea 06:32 I was so embarrassed, and I think I just kind of mumbled, "I need period. I need I need pads", something like that. And my mom was like, "okay", and of course, bought me like the monster size.
Liesl 06:41 Oh gosh, the diapers.
Malea 06:43 Yes, yes. You know, every fifth or sixth grader wants to deal with.
Liesl 06:47 Well, with regard to my mom, my first exposure to periods was her just keeping very careful track of her periods in her planner. I don't know. I think I saw her like noting something each month. And was like, What is she doing? And so I sort of saw that careful monitoring of her own period, and then I remember her telling me about some of her own period experiences, including getting a tampon stuck when she was quite young, and needing maybe assistance or guidance from her mom and removing it. So that sort of instilled a little bit of fear there for me,
Malea 07:24 gotcha,
Liesl 07:24 probably prompting me to use the diaper pads longer than I needed to before transitioning to tampons.
Malea 07:30 I definitely was afraid of that. Yeah, so I didn't use tampons for a really long time because I was really afraid of that. And we both have worked in the emergency room, and I've seen enough people in the ER coming in with a stock or lost tampon, so I think, I think maybe more people need education around how to properly use their period products, which maybe we'll talk about in a future episode.
Liesl 07:55 I like that idea.
Malea 07:57 So how do you remember your friends reacting to their first periods, or reacting to you having your period? Did they know?
Liesl 08:08 Gosh, you know, I don't know that. I officially told friends, but I think there would come moments then at school where, you know, somebody else would get their period and be like, Do you have a pad? Or, you know, there was kind of that camaraderie there around sharing supplies or helping someone out when they were in a in a pickle, but it was still hush hush. Because I think even though we knew it was normal, it just wasn't talked about super openly.
Malea 08:34 Right, and I think that I don't remember a whole lot of that camaraderie until I was in high school, and then, yeah, it was like, Do you have a pad or a tampon, or I need a sweatshirt to tie them around my waist, because I don't have anything, those types of things. And nobody wanted to go to the school nurse to ask for a product. There was one teacher in high school, though, that I think I'm pretty sure she had products in the room and would help you out if you needed it, but, you know, teachers didn't want to let you to go to the bathroom, and you didn't want to stand up and be like but I have my period right. There were girls that would but I certainly wasn't one of those. So we both have friends with daughters and kids that are probably about the age to have periods, right? You have friends in that age category or with kids in that age category. If one of those kids approached you and said, Liesl, I need to talk to you, and don't want to talk to my mom about this, and they told you they had their first period, how would you help them?
Liesl 09:40 For sure, I think normalizing it is so key and not making it a big deal. You know, not being like, you're a woman now, but just being like, oh gosh. How are you feeling? Do you need any supply?
Malea 09:56 Can I get you a burrito?
Liesl 09:57 Can I get you a burrito? Because, boy, does it hit the spot anytime, whether or not you are experiencing menarche, but yeah, I think, I think I would feel privileged to or, you know, a sense of pride that they felt comfortable talking to.
Malea 10:10 There's a trust there
Liesl 10:11 yeah. And so I'd quickly set them up with some supplies, you know, if they had cramps, maybe see if I can help get them something to address that, or a heat pack. And then kind of be curious about, you know, Hey, have you told your mom or you,
Malea 10:28 can I help you talk to your mom?
Liesl 10:30 what do you need to be able to talk to your parents so that they can get you some additional supplies? How about yourself?
Malea 10:36 Probably, very similarly, you know, asking if they have any questions, concerns, fears, do they need help figuring out how to use whatever products, and definitely encouraging them to talk to their parents about it, or helping them talk to their parents about it, or whoever is responsible for them,
Liesl 10:56 so they're not just stealing other people's supplies, down low,
Malea 10:59 the older sisters, of their friends, supplies, I think it was far less normalized to talk about when we were that age. So I do feel it's more an acceptable topic these days, but I'm sure there are still families and kids where it's
Liesl 11:17 not a little more taboo, yeah, yeah, but we'll definitely have to get the perspective of some different generations on this absolutely.
Malea 11:24 And if you would like to be a guest interview, interviewed about your first period, please get in touch with us. Let me tell you about my period dot com.
Liesl 11:34 Let's talk about sex.
Malea 11:35 Mako. Are you old enough for this discussion?
Liesl 11:40 Just so you guys know Mako is Malea's very sweet dog who is basically just staring, staring at us, waiting for us to stop doing what we're doing, which is nonsensical to her.
Malea 11:54 So if for the second half of the episode, if you hear any squeaky noises, dog barks, dog growls, things like that, my dog is here with us. That was Liesl throwing her toy, if you heard that, she's very much wants to be part of this.
Liesl 12:10 She's very cute and hard to resist. Anyways, as we mentioned, the second half of each let me tell you about my period. Episode will be based on a specific topic, and we'll be diving into research and where applicable, talking to experts.
Malea 12:24 If we are repetitive at all, we apologize. This is our first episode. Be kind as we go. Since we're releasing the first episode to coincide with Valentine's Day, we thought we would dive in and talk about periods and sex. While it's our belief that talking about periods should be normalized and that children should understand their bodies before experiencing puberty, please know some of the discussion today may be graphic. If you're not ready for younger people or others in your life to hear this discussion, please hit pause and pop on some headphones
Liesl 13:00 Before we talk about our own experiences, we want to touch on the fact that periods are political in many ways and also have extensive differing cultural and societal norms around the world, often including a lot of negative perceptions and taboos that seem to be heightened when it comes to periods and sex. Unfortunately, most of the research we found is only qualitative in nature, and quantitative data is scant, with only very small and very few studies done so far.
Malea 13:29 I do also want to mention that we are looking at this with a Western, American lens, but this is obviously something that affects half of the population of the entire world. So if we don't touch on something that's particularly relevant to you, we do apologize for that. But we also don't want an episode that's 500 hours long. So
Liesl 13:51 You're welcome.
Malea 13:53 We do want to define a couple of terms qualitative studies means they focus on answering questions like why or how. The information or responses to questions are often based on opinions or personal experiences and not related to numeric data, which would be quantitative. Quantitative studies focus on how many, how often, how much, and quantitative also means the information is measurable. Also my dog is right next to make those my or make those right next to Liesl's microphone, so if you hear her, I apologize anyhow. Some of this qualitative studies we found, were able to pull out quantitative data. But again, the size of these studies and amount of data is small.
Liesl 14:36 I would love to see a lot more quantitative research in this area, although we want to avoid the binary, since we live in such a diverse world, research into women's health in general is far behind that into men's health. For a long time, male study or test subjects were considered the default
Malea 14:54 menstrual blood wasn't even used in menstrual related research or testing of menstrual products until 2023 When Oregon Health Sciences University conducted the first study of its kind using actual menstrual blood. Prior to this, studies of menstrual products in particular were done with water,
Liesl 15:11 Water?
Malea 15:12 Water. leading to incredibly misleading claims and packaging labels. So if you have ever been disappointed with a period product or a tampon or a pad not doing what it was supposed to do, that's probably why.
Liesl 15:24 You think they could have at least used something a little more viscous,
Malea 15:24 Right? We're recording this in 2026 that was only three years ago that they did this research. Crazy. Anyhow, we will get more into this study and period products themselves in a future episode, but this is illustrative of the fact that research into menstruation in general is extremely lacking.
Liesl 15:47 We also need to mention that anything discussed during this or any other episode of Let me tell you about my period is not medical advice and is being shared for informational and entertainment purposes only if you have concerns about your period or other aspects of your health and well being, please consult your doctor or other healthcare professionals. In addition, while our research was fairly extensive, it was not exhaustive.
Malea 16:11 Now that we have that out of the way. Liesl, have you ever had sex while in your period?
Liesl 16:15 I have. Have you?
Malea 16:18 Yes, but it was either at the very beginning or very end. And so I wasn't, I wasn't having a full flow, shall we say. And so I didn't really recognize that I was on my period until afterwards. And there was some blood on the condom. some evidence,
Liesl 16:35 some evidence.
Malea 16:36 Yes, one partner was very disgusted. You can imagine that that colored future interactions, that relationship did not last very long. The other partner where this happened, he was totally supportive and not phased at all. He was like, okay, whatever. That's fine. He was a little surprised, but once he got over the surprise, he was like, whatever. And that made me trust him more when it came to future encounters, sexual and non sexual,
Liesl 16:37 two different partners, two very different experiences.
Malea 16:45 I've never had sex like at the height of my period, and now that I'm in menopause, that will not be happening, but with that one partner I probably would have with the partner that was not phased,
Liesl 16:52 you would have been maybe more open to it.
Malea 17:24 Definitely, yeah, open to that.
Liesl 17:28 I think for me, for a really long time, I never considered having sex on my period. It was just, oh, that's a natural break in sexual activity. So I think, similarly to you, for a long time, I only had sex, maybe accidentally or intentionally, but at the very beginning or very end to minimize mess. However, recently, I came across a product. I used menstrual cups before, but I found a menstrual disc that claimed to be, you know, allow you to have mess free sex, and so I have been able to experiment with using that while on my period.
Malea 18:06 I definitely would have considered that
Liesl 18:09 in the one relationship,
Malea 18:10 In the one relationship, yeah, but at the same time, my body would be physically so much more sensitive during my period that I think that aspect might have, maybe not want to have period sex.
Liesl 18:24 Oh, so many variables, different partners, different experiences of one's period. All that to say, sex on your period is not for everyone, and that's totally fine. We'll talk about benefits, maybe some cons. But at the end of the day, it's up to you to decide if you want to try it. Maybe you never want to try it. Celebrate Valentine's Day and your sexuality, however you will
Malea 18:51 with your consenting partner or lack of partner.
Liesl 18:53 Absolutely,
Malea 18:55 In looking at the science and the data that's out there. It turns out there is not a whole lot. We found a lot of overlapping materials and studies. We found articles and things referencing each other. So this is an area periods of sex, where a lot more research needs to be done. In fact, what I found kind of reference the same three or four studies, one of which Liesl will end up talking about. But the research seems to be split into two distinct categories. One is qualitative analysis related to menstruating people's experiences, their attitudes and perceptions. One of the studies of which included 40 women, which Liesl is going to discuss, the other area seems to be specific to menstrual sex, specifically related to endometriosis risk. Personally, I found it really disappointing how little information that was available from the scientific community.
Liesl 19:59 Yes, and I. Think given how little quantitative data there seems to be, we should take some of what we found with a healthy dose of skepticism.
Malea 20:08 But by skepticism, I don't think we mean necessarily we don't believe what we found. But rather, a lot more research needs to be done, and we really need to scrutinize claims. The fact that that 2023 study on period products was the first of its kind, using menstrual blood instead of water, really raises the bar for all future study related periods, including when, when it comes to sex,
Liesl 20:31 exactly. But most sources do note a lot of positive benefits to having sex during menstruation.
Malea 20:38 That is if the menstruating person and their partner can get past societal, cultural and personal taboos around sex,
Liesl 20:45 yes, if you can get past those things, period sex, when an orgasm is achieved by the person on their period, has been reported to relieve menstrual cramps, increase pleasure and decrease stress, plus menstrual blood as a bonus, acts as a natural lubricant. The key here is reaching orgasms, since that act releases a rush of endorphins,
Malea 21:09 the happy hormone
Liesl 21:10 that may act as a natural analgesic, offering relief for menstrual cramps and related headaches.
Malea 21:17 Orgasms during period sex also have been reported to be much stronger, since the body's already more sensitive during menstruation and sex and orgasm increases blood flow in the pelvic region.
Liesl 21:27 So if you are already extremely sensitive during sex, this could be a good thing, or it could lead to orgasms that are too strong to enjoy. But my research also notes that period sex, especially when orgasm is achieved, also often leads to much better sleep quality,
Malea 21:43 which most of us could use. It does need to be also mentioned that while there seems to be some pretty compelling positive benefits to having sex during once period, it is not without risks, like most thing is in life.
Liesl 21:56 Of course, we would be remiss not to mention those.
Malea 21:59 Yes, as with any sexual activity, there is always the risk of sexually transmitted infections and diseases including HIV and hepatitis. So it's important to to have regular checkups with your healthcare providers or to discuss the risk in order to discuss your personal risks, and it's important to consider using condoms or dental dams, depending on your your situation,
Malea 22:24 but not on one's period.
Liesl 22:25 And just like having sex when not menstruating, urinary tract infections are always a potential risk, as are other vaginal infections. Practicing good hygiene such as urinating and showering after sex may help reduce these risks,
Malea 22:40 and while period sex can heighten arousal, enjoy and enjoyability, as we mentioned, the body's already more sensitive. So the body is already more sensitive, and period cramps and bloating are already uncomfortable. This is a time where sexual position could be even more important, where positions where the pelvis is tilted upward, or where the menstruating person is on top or in control of the position, can help alleviate some sensitivity or pressure on the abdomen.
Liesl 23:10 And just because you were on your period does not mean you can't get pregnant. Let this be a PSA. There is a misconception about this. May not be as you may not be as likely to get pregnant while actively on your period, but it's still possible, especially towards the end of your period. Fun fact, maybe fun, maybe freaky, sperm can live in the body for several days.
Malea 23:30 And yeah, I think that's a huge misconception. I think a lot of people are raised with the belief that sperm, you have sex, the sperm either fertilize the egg or don't, and if they don't, they die. No, not true. If you have endometriosis, a complex condition where uterine tissues outside the uterus, particularly around the fallopian tubes and ovaries, although it can grow anywhere in the body, I don't have great news for you. This is an area where more research is absolutely needed, but the scant amount currently available mostly points to period sex for endometriosis sufferers as potentially negative. That said, the research I found does say that this is mostly a theoretical idea. The thought is that those with endometriosis could experience something called retrograde menstruation while having period sex. This means that sex during menstruation can increase blood flow.
Liesl 24:26 And here we're talking about blood flow through your body's veins and arteries, not about period blood.
Malea 24:31 Okay, so the idea is, for people with endometriosis, sexual activity will increase blood flow, not only to the pelvis, but to the endometrial tissue. So this tissue growing outside of the pelvis, is very complex to treat and navigate. So if you have endometriosis and are considering sex during menstruation, please talk to your healthcare provider to determine whether or not this is an actual risk for your own unique situation, even though the medical literature acknowledges that this is theoretical. With not enough research to definitively say if period sex, for those with endometriosis, is safe or not.
Liesl 25:08 All right, switching gears on a more practical, realistic note, I think it's important to also talk briefly about the potential messiness of period sex. I mean, we talk about this a little bit in our own experiences, but we want to say, fortunately, if you are mess averse, there are some things that can be done to mitigate the mess. For example, you can lay down dark towels on the bed
Malea 25:31 or a spicy time blanket.
Liesl 25:33 Oh, what is that?
Malea 25:34 There is somebody that I follow on Facebook, and I'll have to go back and find the link for to put it on our blog, but he sells a wide variety of products, including menstrual products, and he has these blankets that can be used for changing your baby's diapers or having sex. They're waterproof, but they are also soft. They're not crinkly the way it will a lot of waterproof materials are and you can just throw it in the washer, but he calls them in his in his ads, spicy time blankets,
Liesl 26:04 I have to say, I appreciate that a man made this product.
Malea 26:07 Yeah,
Liesl 26:07 so he's clearly promoting period sex on some level, anyhow, anyhow, as I mentioned before, there are also menstrual discs designed to allow clean or cleaner sex while on one's period, the disc sits at the back of the vaginal canal and shouldn't interfere with penetration. Of course, this is considering heterosexual relationships that involve penetration, so this is limited, still
Malea 26:34 could help with the mess, whether you're in a heterosexual relationship or not.
Liesl 26:38 Great point. Another thing about the discs is that you could actually have stronger orgasms, as it may rub on the cervix during sex and provide extra stimulation. Finally, there is, of course, shower sex as an option,
Malea 26:53 but then who gets to stand in the hot water while the other one is,
Liesl 26:57 yeah, shower shower sex and shared showers is always better in theory. It's better in theory, but yes, we can debate that. Anyways, there are clearly lots of pros and cons to think about when it comes to period sex, even if you remove societal, cultural and personal taboos.
Malea 27:13 So on that note, let's go back to talking more about the societal, cultural and personal taboos. I mentioned that you were going to talk about the study that you found
Liesl 27:23 Yes. Breanne Fahs, hopefully I'm pronouncing that correctly, is a professor of Women and Gender Studies at Arizona State University, and she writes about these things, noting that throughout history, norms, we're talking about US history right now, norms, encouraging women to hide their menstruation have contributed to feelings of shame and even disgust for women surrounding their bodies and periods specifically. She highlights the fact that there has been limited research on how negative cultural interpretations of menstruation have affected women's sex lives. Fahs did a qualitative study on 40 American women, so fairly small sample size, but the women were from across different races and different sexual identities or orientations, and among her research subjects, she found that negativity towards sex during menstruation centered on four areas. 1. women's physical discomfort and labor. 2. partners, discomfort, 3., negative self perception and 4. emotional labor, managing a partner's judgment and feelings. To me, this appears to suggest that sex while on one's period, while full of potential for pleasure, may demand a lot from a woman physically and emotionally,
Malea 28:42 yeah, well, and not just in heterosexual relationships, but, you know, I can imagine that in any relationship, the person having the period
Liesl 28:53 is in a different position than the other partner. For sure,
Malea 28:56 definitely, hopefully, both partners are very supportive of one another, so we'll link to that research study and others on our blog. Let me tell you about my period dot com but returning to the subject of how we're socialized to think about sex, I can't think of a single time I've seen or heard anything positive on TV, social media or even a discussion with friends about specifically sex during menstruation. I don't recall talking about it ever with a friend.
Liesl 29:26 Sure, you're the first one I've discussed it with.
Malea 29:29 And all of our listeners,
Liesl 29:30 of course, and all of you,
Malea 29:32 usually, I think you know talking about periods in general, I think is often met with some some revulsion or some hesitation, but then sex during menstruation, I think, is would probably be met with a lot of a lot of revulsion, just because of where we are as a society, even though there's positive possible
Liesl 29:56 benefits, as we've seen. Yeah and true. You know, in western popular media, period sex is rarely touched on at all, and periods are often used in movies and TV as a trope related to pregnancy. Either it's shown as a woman getting her period and being relieved she's not pregnant, or getting her period and being upset because she was hoping to be pregnant,
Malea 30:19 despite the reality that sperm can live in the body, however many days.
Liesl 30:24 As we found out,
Malea 30:26 none of this is as simple as pregnant, not pregnant because of your period,
Liesl 30:30 much more complex than things are portrayed on in the movies. We'll talk about periods in their broader portrayal in media in a future episode. But when it comes specifically to sex. We want to mention the 2016 film, "American Honey", shows a woman removing her tampon before sex as a normal part of life. And then the book "Fifty Shades of Grey", which, of course, involves a unique set of sexual dynamics, but it apparently includes a scene where the male partner removes the woman's tampon before having sex.
Malea 31:02 I don't think I'd be okay with that. That just, I don't know, and maybe that's my own bias and my own taboo, although the book, apparently, it's supposed it's evidence of his control. But I think it would be very strange to have somebody else.
Liesl 31:19 I do not disagree with you on that.
Malea 31:23 According to the small body of research around period sex, younger women are less likely to feel stigma around it, which I think suggests a shift culturally, at least in Western cultures, where most of the small body of research we found has been carried out an important factor about period sex and destigmatizing it, which we already touched on is your partner's attitudes and in relationships where periods are an open topic and partners are supportive, period sex is much more likely to be a positive experience, which I think makes sense, right? Most things in life are better if you and your partner are open and supportive
Liesl 31:58 absolutely as you shared. You know some you know your own experiences with two different partners.
Malea 32:05 Yeah, it appears that sexual partners who find period sex to be dirty or disgusting often results in the menstruating partner not wanting to engage in period sex. I mean, that was definitely the case for me, not just period sex, but sex in general, due to the perceived perception of the other person, even if having period sex would be beneficial,
Liesl 32:27 going back to portrayals of period sex and periods in general in the media, most of the negative pushback seems to come from men. While, most women are supportive and would like to see this as a normalized topic in media. The lead of the movie "I May Destroy You" has said, "Periods are something so normal. It's weird to see how it's been stigmatized to be something strange when it happens."
Malea 32:48 I mean, when 50% of the population globally is having periods,
Liesl 32:51 get used to it. Someone near you is menstruating.
Malea 32:55 Might be but it should be so normalized that we don't even care Exactly. While we could talk about this for much longer, we're going to wrap up with this from the character Samantha from the show Sex in the City, "If someone is an asshole about you having a period during sex, they're going to be an asshole in general."
Liesl 33:12 Preach Samantha.
Malea 33:13 You can find more information, including a transcript of this episode, all of our research and more at let me tell you about my period dot com.
Liesl 33:22 And lastly, we're looking for a diverse group of people from all walks of life to be interviewed about their experiences having periods. If you'd like to be interviewed for the show, or if you have a period related question you'd like us to answer, please email us at let me tell you about my period at gmail dot com, you can also comment on the blog post for this episode, if you have something you'd like to share or say about sex while on your period, maybe you think sex on your period is the greatest thing ever, and you want to tell everyone they should be doing it. Maybe you think it's gross, fine, either way, we want to know why.
Malea 33:59 In particular, if you think it's gross, I want to know why. I would be disappointed if all if the comments are just like, That's gross, that's disgusting, nothing else.
Liesl 33:59 Yeah, we don't just want opinions. We want you to share,
Malea 34:10 We want to continue the conversation
Liesl 34:13 Exactly. Well said. Well said. So we're going to be signing out, and we want to thank you for listening. We're figuring this out, and we will be receptive to feedback. So reminder for all of you out there, you know, those of you having sex, do what feels good for you, but most importantly, make sure it's
Malea and Liesl 34:33 consensual
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